Here goes nothing

The thing about new jobs is that they are like that popular American junk food Cracker Jack. You never quite know what kind of surprise toy you’ll get until you opened the carton.

And that’s exactly how this new gig feels like. I’m surprised my reaction to this new adventure is in stark conrast with the way I reacted to the first few jobs I had a couple of years ago. In a lot of ways I was the typical neophyte with an ear to ear grin, looking forward to the “challenges” ( A euphemism around the corporate world that actually means “PROBLEMS” ) and “fun” with the new people you’ll get to meet.

trepidation-clipart-coward-clipart-0511-0907-2019-1723_Scared_Sheltie_Hiding_Around_a_Corner_clipart_imageBut these days, a few jobs and copious amounts of white hairs later, the idea of acclimatizing, assessing and adjusting to a different set of task descriptions, work hours, colleagues and client is nothing short of terrifying. I remember having read a GQ interview with David Duchovny at the height of the X-Files’s popularity a few years back. He uttered a statement that didn’t mean much to me back then but is glaringly apt to what I’m going through now. It was about new working conditions and not knowing anyone and that he should  work like a horse to avoid embarrassment:

“I envy people who walk into new situations with great expectation and wonder. Like, ‘Hey, a new environment–I get to make new friends, have fun.’ Me, I’m like, ‘A new environment–I’m going to be humiliated. Better work hard.’ “

So there. As much as I’d like to get in with the program of being “positive” (whatever that means) about things, I prefer to look at it at the worst possible angles. When you’re prepared for the worst, every little thing that scratches it off from your personal little criteria make things a bit more buoyant and, consequently, more pleasant.

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